Rosaline’s E-mail to her cousin and friend, Susan Capulet

to: susancapulet@greatbritishemail.co.uk
from: rosalinescap@greatbritishemail.co.uk
subject: that romeo guy

Susan,

I’ve been okay. There has been a notorious case of ringworm going about the animals that come through the clinic. I’ve had to take extra precaution as I work around the animals, so I’ve been hard to reach because I spend most of my time double checking I’ve not got it.

Remember that guy I was telling you about? Romeo? Well, he came into the clinic the other day; he borrowed his friend’s, Benvolio, little cocker spaniel. He came in pretending that he needed help with *his* dog. He is really poetic, but I can’t help but feel that he performs his poetry rather than actually feels it. It’s difficult to discern whether Romeo art or Romeo’s art. At times his passion seems facile, but other times he looks through me with his eyes. I get tingles, even though I wish Benvolio had come in. Is it possible that I get secondary tingles from whence Benvolio’s eyes gazed upon Romeo’s face?

Romeo penned me this poem the other day:

In your absence, I close my eyes and I 
can feel cold heat burning through my soul.
Clear smoke guides me to you, and the acrid
fumes are sweet as I taste the feverish air 
whence purified by you wholesome being.
Be mine, 
My dearest Rosaline.

It’s flattering, to be sure, but I’d rather that Benvolio Montague lay his critical eye on me, for mine has long discerned the profundity of his…mind. Have you ever noticed that Romeo smells like curried pizza and pot? That would be his dad’s shop. I’m also held firmly at bay by the fact that a Capulet could never be with a Montague. Could you imagine? Benvolio must prove exception to the rule? Is that racist? Surely not.

How are things with you and Juliet.

– Rosaline

p.s I hear your dad is throwing a party in a fortnight. Text me; I want to buy a new dress for the night. X

(#3 Romeo and Juliet)

 

 

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